Short track #4

Mmm. Sunshine + dirt = whee!

In which I internalize the mantra originating from racing bikes with Des:

DNS < DNF < DFL < OTB which is to say - getting out there is the most important, not quitting is next in line, and as long as you finish - try your damndest and you're doing well.
Get up, get out of bed, put a hel-met on my head...

...up early and to the office at 745 this a.m. (train assist, ftw!) - with the intent of hitting the course with enough time to pre-ride and really relax into this whole concept of racing. For the first time, I didn't spend the entire day feeling like I was overcaffeinated and/or about to repurpose my breakfast and/or on the verge of some sort of anxiety event.

Take the train out to the course, happening to ride the MAX with the woman who was behind the women's singlespeed category - great to chat with her, about bikes and otherwise. (She keeps an excellent bikey blog; recommended reading.)

And, pre-ride says... Holy mother of technical. The course was limited from some of the under-the-trees portion - so they made up the distance and the tricky bits in other ways: sharp turns and angled descents, an awkward table top and some tricky field-work (sandy, turny, treey, hairpin).

I stopped mid-lap the second time around and just watched people; decided I had more to learn by watching others navigate it than by continuing to fumble about.

Met up with Ben, did another lap, cheered him out of his race-start. Watched as folks piled up on this/that turn, obstacle, "feature" ... wait, this was fun? and voluntary? Um... Hrm. As the Cat 3 folks were finishing, I realized there was a growing crowd at the start line. So I strike off to find my tight group of singlespeed ladies...

...and, scattered throughout the crowd, I see women on singlespeeds, yes. More women than ever this week, thin and powerfully legg'ed, on well-outfitted bikes, confident in their matching spandex and looking dangerously fast. And the course was technical and tricky (confirmed by everyone who'd given it a lap, three). And can I back out now?

Resolved: Go ride your bike. Stop racing.

So the crowd pulled away, holeshot-bound... and I finally got it. For the first time ever racing - I stopped worrying about being fast enough, edging out, impressing someone, being good enough, proving something. And I rode up the hills and sometimes ran my bike up the hills, whooped as I flew down the slopes and made various hilarious protesty noises as I bounced over the chunky bits. (Who needs shocks?) I was speedy and smooth, and slow and awkward.

It was an absolute blast.

Finish first lap, come past the crowd - some cheering from the stands (thanks Rob, Ben!). I replied "I'M TOTALLY WINNING!!!" with a huge smile and made it up a previously-impossible slope (just!) and threw a triumphant fist in the air like a seven-year-old.

Somewhere in that second lap the tensioner gave up. (Lesson: need to tighten those bolts For Reals, kids, not for fakes.) Once I got in the rhythm of stopping once every 45 seconds to re-place the chain -- I resolved to just finish (hoping that some cheerleader was watching and would grab wrenches - no one on the course seemed to have 'em).

So - I made it through half the course, stopping and re-attaching and going and stopping and going and stopping and ... and was nearly lapped by my own field. I caught Ben just below the start/finish and we retensioned the chain...

...just in time for me to ride up to the finish line and get waved off the course.

Race over.

Two laps.

Done.

I was proud for finishing and still digging the feeling of the first fun lap and the patience of the second slogger -- and also (always) angry at myself for not trying harder, for not being the fastest bestest and somehow proving to folks that million-dollar bikes or fancy pants or wearing a size zero - doesn't make you better.

Volunteer (queen of peanut butter!), chat with Ben and Rob and others, watch some races and discuss each of ours. Still wrestling with not winning and not caring, and making peace with the idea that I'm a bit out of my league (we are racing with the Cat 2 women?) - and maybe just showing up, and finishing right-side-up - is going to have to be enough.

And then next week maybe I'll win...

Update ... race results are up - the generous officials had me down as 3 laps, finishing 5/9 - wrote them and say "um, actually..." -- so, my first-ever DFL in a race. Oh well.

Thought from Rob last week - I should race Beginner Women's as a warm-up, then race Women's singlespeed for real. Hah! ... But it might be fun?